Pregnancy 29 weeks

This pregnancy is much like my other pregnancies, and at the same time it’s very different.

I have something called low PAPP-A, which means I’m at a higher risk of having a low birth weight baby, increased chance of an early birth, increased chance of developing pre-eclampsia.

Now I’ve had this in 3 out of 4 of my pregnancies. I had it with Zack, Jasper and now with this pregnancy too, however I didn’t have it when I was pregnant with Jamie.

However when it comes to the low birth weight part I seem to be the opposite. And Im having rather large babies. Only Zack was premature at 36 weeks, Jasper was 38 weeks and Jamie 39. And thankfully I’ve never developed pre-eclampsia.

Now with this girl she’s on the 97th centile on the growth chart, and is estimated to weigh about 4,5 kg, for this reason I’m likely to be induced if she’s not decided to make an appearance before then.

Honestly I really just want time to move quicker now, everything hurts, I’m so heavy and just want to meet our little girl and get back to my normal body and normality.

Just over 10 weeks to go until the official due date. And I have another ultrasound at 32 weeks so hopefully then I’ll get a few more answers about a possible induction.

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The birds and the bees

I had to have the conversation the other day with Jasper, the conversation that I was hoping I wouldn’t have to have yet for a while, a couple of years or you know ever.

Jasper looks at my bump with a very puzzled look and asks me “mummy how did the baby get in there?”. I completely panic, I was not prepared for this and I answer “ When mummy’s and daddy’s love each other very much they have really big cuddles and that makes a baby “. Jasper the little smart ass couldn’t just accept this answer and be done with it nope instead he says “but mummy I give you cuddles”. So panic mode again “ehrum yes but it’s only when boyfriends and girlfriends cuddle that you can make a baby”. And before he manages to come up with another question to my terrible answer I ask him if he has a girlfriend? He replies “ Mummy my girlfriends a little bit interesting “

And that made me laugh so hard that I nearly peed myself.

When it comes to the talk though, I think I’ll have to have a think and sit down and have a better conversation with him, I don’t think the answers I gave him were the best. He took me by surprise okay? I need time to prepare for something like that. 😂

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Summer holiday

Do you remember when the summer holidays started and life was filled with sleep ins and fun for those precious few weeks? – Yeah my kids don’t get it.

Let’s start the day ridiculously early put every single toy we own in me the middle of the floor and wait for mummy to clean it up so we can do it again, yeah that’s their idea of a summer holiday.

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It’s going to hurt

These quarantine days are going fast and slow at the same time, just like this pregnancy. I want it to go faster because I’m so heavy and tired already. But at the same time I want it to slow down because I have so many things I need get done before our little girl is here. And my stress levels are peaking way too high as it is.

Jasper can’t wait for his little sister to arrive and is always coming up to me giving my bump cuddles and kisses and wanting to feel baby kick.

He’s also expressed an interest in how baby gets out of mummies belly. His new thing is now to point at my private parts whilst telling me that the baby comes out of there and it’s going to hurt. It’s a nice reminder of what’s to come.

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Morning after regrets

Slightly misleading headline, I’ve not been drinking.

We had a lovely evening last night, the kids got to run around, play and tire themselves out which led to an incredible easy bed time. It might of took 15 minutes, might just be a record for us.

I stayed up late, well later then usual which is really late for me. I was editing photographs all night. And oh am I feeling it this morning. I feel like the zombie mom of zombie moms.

I might have to re-edit some of the photos, I was so tired last night that I started rushing through it and looking at them this morning they could use some tweaking.

Today I have to give the house a big clean, finish cleaning the sofa and chair that we started yesterday. And move the living room furniture around. I might do a little vlogg?

But for now It’s breakfast time!

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Reading through the archive

Good morning, or bad morning I guess depending on how your morning started. I unfortunately didn’t sleep great so feeling tired and a little bit grumpy.

The kids are full of energy as usual. I think we should just change that to me being full of energy and the kids being tired, honestly that would just make more sense.

I spent last night reading through some of my old posts, I must say it was nice to be able to read and look back at things. It also gave me insight to what I wish I would of wrote more about.

Time to make some breakfast! I will be back with more posts soon though, allot has happened since I last posted.

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Not just a mother

Saturday and a good week has nearly come to an end. Back to our normal routine again on Monday. And I’m feeling a little sad about it.

There is so many things going on in our life’s right now and if I’m honest I don’t always know what I’m doing or how I’m feeling I’m just running on some kind of autopilot. But I am slowly working my way back to prioritising myself. For such a long time I have been putting myself down and not taking care of or doing anything for me. For such a long time I have just been a mom and nothing else but I am more then just a mother and I am slowly finding those parts of me that makes me, well me.

Jumperdress: H&M Bag: missguided Sunglasses: H&M

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Not feeling it

Okay so I rethought the whole weekly update thing, I don’t like it. So there will be no more of that and I’ve also deleted the couple of posts that I did do.

I’m really feeling this week though, we have allot to do and hopefully we will get most of it done. If I’m being realistic it’s probably not all going to get done but we shall try and do it.

We tried my new sunglasses, still very unsure on them. Why is it so damn hard to find a pair that looks good on me? At least they always look good on Jamie.

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Sunday

I haven’t picked my camera up until today and I’ve barely updated any social media the last week.

As much as I enjoy social media – and it’s something I do because I enjoy it. I tend to put to much pressure on myself sometimes taking the fun out of it and making it stressful. And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing recently, so I decided to just take a break for a week and just be. And it’s certainly worked, I feel inspired with photo ideas, blog post ideas and my fingers just want to keep tapping away on my keyboard but I’m going to have to restrain myself a little because I have to be up bright and early tomorrow and if I’m honest I am really tired.

But I will be back tomorrow with a weekly evaluation, and what’s happening this week. I’ll probably end up writing a few more posts that I’ll schedule to be published throughout the week.

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Zack update.

Where do I start? Since we started suspecting Zack having ASD, everything has been a roller coaster. It’s a constant mixture of feelings and I try not think too much about the future and focus on here and now and how to best prepare him for well – life.

Zack pretty much mastered PECS straight away it was something he enjoyed doing and therefor did with no problem at all. Our current work in progress is something called colourful semantics where we have hit a slight bump in the road. Zack wants to do things his way on his terms, if it doesn’t happen in his way he gets stressed, upset inattentive and just tries running of with it to do it himself the way he likes it.

So try to get him slowly used to this I need him on his own with no distraction which is easier said then done when he gets distracted by a cup sitting on the side and he has two brothers running around. But we will get there and we will keep working on it.

Sometimes I feel so useless, I haven’t got enough time, not enough hands, not enough energy. I just feel like a failure and that I need to do so much more, I want to do so much more. But I don’t know how I keep working to get there but somehow end up moving backwards.

But I guess all I can do is my best, and strive to always be better and do better.

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