Not just a mother

Saturday and a good week has nearly come to an end. Back to our normal routine again on Monday. And I’m feeling a little sad about it.

There is so many things going on in our life’s right now and if I’m honest I don’t always know what I’m doing or how I’m feeling I’m just running on some kind of autopilot. But I am slowly working my way back to prioritising myself. For such a long time I have been putting myself down and not taking care of or doing anything for me. For such a long time I have just been a mom and nothing else but I am more then just a mother and I am slowly finding those parts of me that makes me, well me.

Jumperdress: H&M Bag: missguided Sunglasses: H&M

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Not feeling it

Okay so I rethought the whole weekly update thing, I don’t like it. So there will be no more of that and I’ve also deleted the couple of posts that I did do.

I’m really feeling this week though, we have allot to do and hopefully we will get most of it done. If I’m being realistic it’s probably not all going to get done but we shall try and do it.

We tried my new sunglasses, still very unsure on them. Why is it so damn hard to find a pair that looks good on me? At least they always look good on Jamie.

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Sunday

I haven’t picked my camera up until today and I’ve barely updated any social media the last week.

As much as I enjoy social media – and it’s something I do because I enjoy it. I tend to put to much pressure on myself sometimes taking the fun out of it and making it stressful. And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing recently, so I decided to just take a break for a week and just be. And it’s certainly worked, I feel inspired with photo ideas, blog post ideas and my fingers just want to keep tapping away on my keyboard but I’m going to have to restrain myself a little because I have to be up bright and early tomorrow and if I’m honest I am really tired.

But I will be back tomorrow with a weekly evaluation, and what’s happening this week. I’ll probably end up writing a few more posts that I’ll schedule to be published throughout the week.

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Zack update.

Where do I start? Since we started suspecting Zack having ASD, everything has been a roller coaster. It’s a constant mixture of feelings and I try not think too much about the future and focus on here and now and how to best prepare him for well – life.

Zack pretty much mastered PECS straight away it was something he enjoyed doing and therefor did with no problem at all. Our current work in progress is something called colourful semantics where we have hit a slight bump in the road. Zack wants to do things his way on his terms, if it doesn’t happen in his way he gets stressed, upset inattentive and just tries running of with it to do it himself the way he likes it.

So try to get him slowly used to this I need him on his own with no distraction which is easier said then done when he gets distracted by a cup sitting on the side and he has two brothers running around. But we will get there and we will keep working on it.

Sometimes I feel so useless, I haven’t got enough time, not enough hands, not enough energy. I just feel like a failure and that I need to do so much more, I want to do so much more. But I don’t know how I keep working to get there but somehow end up moving backwards.

But I guess all I can do is my best, and strive to always be better and do better.

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Potty training

As I’ve mentioned previously Jasper has started potty training and it’s going great other than one minor little problem.

He does not want to poop on the toilet, he seems to think it’s a little bit scary. I suppose it’s very different for him aswell seems he normally always stands up when he pops. Yesterday I thought we finally had it, he told me there was poop coming (😂) and sat on the toilet, mummy there poo coming, poo coming! ( I was like hooooray it’s finally happening) And then he clenched up and wanted a nappy. Tried encouraging him to try again but it was a clear no.

I’m considering making him a little poop chart, where he can put little poop stickers on a toilet to try and make it fun-ish and get him used to the thought of poop in the toilet. But if anyone has any tricks that’s worked on their toddlers, please let me know, I’m grateful for any input!

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Sunny sun sun sun

Hello! Feels like it’s been a while since I posted anything, but I suppose it’s not really been that long. We have been fully enjoying the last few days and the lovely weather.

We ate our first icecreams of the year and just soaked up as much of that sun as we could.

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Plus and minus

Negatives of today – the vacuum died, and there was no new episode of riverdale.

Positives of today – 16 degrees and it feels like spring! Also I got a new vacuum.

As soon as Ryan got home today we got ready to go and get our new vacuum which I had already reserved online. Honestly a day without being able to vacuum does not work in this house, I vacuum several times a day and not being able to today was just well dirty. However very satisfactory when I unboxed and tried our new one out, you know your getting old when your getting excited by a new vacuum, like really excited but the suctions sooo good.

Time for bed now, I have no expectations for a good nights sleep, it just seems to be one of those weeks.

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Day before Friday

Did I get to sleep? Nah not really our little one who generally is a very good sleeper decided he was waking up at who knows what time and thought it was the perfect time for bouncing all over the bed. So guess who’s sleeping right now?. Either way I have woke up with some more energy today and I feel pretty good, there’s a new episode of riverdale today ( I hope, if they’ve skipped this week I might swear a little ) and I’ve got the majority of things that need doing done, so thumbs up to that. And I mean it’s Friday tomorrow so that alone just makes today a good day.

I tried making some sort of baking concoction of what I had at home, coincidentally the only thing I really had was baileys and it’s safe to say it was a failure. It didn’t really taste of baileys, just alcohol so yeah thumbs down to that. I’m sure the bin enjoyed it, maybe? I’m Sure it’s better than poopy nappies at least.

Yeah I’ve lost it, thinking weather a bin ?! Enjoys whatever I put in it. Think it might be time for more coffee.

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Coffee and me – a love story

So this week so far? Not a fan. Lack of sleep bleh.

Pretty much sums it up really. I mean thank you coffee or I would probably have been sleep parenting, I’m sure that’s a thing.

So I’m in bed nice and early tonight, hoping that I will get a decent nights sleep so that we can turn this week around tomorrow and make it a good one.

By the way Jamie is walking independently more and more, and I am so not ready.

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Breathing again

Ahh, weekend, I feel as if I can finally just breath again, for tonight anyway because tomorrow I have to deal with that never ending to-do list again.

Weeks not been to bad though once I started feeling somewhat human again and felt like I’d caught up on a little bit of sleep it’s been alright. And the weather! Sunshine and 13 degrees, me and the kids have walked down to the park a couple of times and just soaked that vitamin d up. And Jamie’s been on the swing for the first time, loved it until I took him out and put him back in the pushchair = not a happy baby.

Worst about this week is my stress levels though, the more I get done on my to-do list (yes I know I’m constantly going on about this damn list but it’s my life) the more I seem to need to add. So this weekend I’m just going to go all in and get it all done. And then hopefully I can enjoy a less stressful week next week.

Speaking of stressful, the stupid damn cooker broke. So now I have to buy a new one, so maybe I had been thinking about buying a new one anyway because well I hate gas cookers and want an electric one. But that doesn’t mean it’s ok for this one to just die on me before I’m ready no, nope, nah-ah.

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