Where do I start? Since we started suspecting Zack having ASD, everything has been a roller coaster. It’s a constant mixture of feelings and I try not think too much about the future and focus on here and now and how to best prepare him for well – life.
Zack pretty much mastered PECS straight away it was something he enjoyed doing and therefor did with no problem at all. Our current work in progress is something called colourful semantics where we have hit a slight bump in the road. Zack wants to do things his way on his terms, if it doesn’t happen in his way he gets stressed, upset inattentive and just tries running of with it to do it himself the way he likes it.
So try to get him slowly used to this I need him on his own with no distraction which is easier said then done when he gets distracted by a cup sitting on the side and he has two brothers running around. But we will get there and we will keep working on it.
Sometimes I feel so useless, I haven’t got enough time, not enough hands, not enough energy. I just feel like a failure and that I need to do so much more, I want to do so much more. But I don’t know how I keep working to get there but somehow end up moving backwards.
But I guess all I can do is my best, and strive to always be better and do better.
You know when you’ve carefully planned out what to do with the few hours of alone time after the kids has gone to sleep, and those few hours goes to actually getting the kids of to sleep instead? Yeah, that’s what happened today.
Well it’s Thursday tomorrow and all I have to say about that is YAAAAAAAS new episode of Riverdale. And hopefully I’ll get those couple of hours of alone time tomorrow, so that, maybe I can at least cross one little thing of the to-do list.
A couple of days ago Zack said his first long sentence with meaning “I want you too tickle me”, he has picked up soo much in his speech just lately and I am just so incredibly happy for how well he’s doing.
Zack got his official diagnosis Autism Spectrum Disorder in December after a stressful and emotional time getting there. I will be talking about this in my new YouTube Channel that’s coming soon. I’m hoping that sharing our journey might help someone else in the same situation.
Two out of three kids are having a little nap, Zacks making carrots out of play-doh and I feel as if I’ve not slept in weeks although I’ve not slept too bad, can’t ever win huh?.
I’m starting to think about what birthday presents to get Zack, it can be a little difficult seems his interests aren’t quite like of other kids his age. There is one thing I keep looking at which Zack absolutely loves to play with when he has been to his speech and language therapy, and Its a wooden boat with little wooden men. I have looked absolutely everywhere online but I cannot seem to find it. If anyone has any idea of where I might find this, please let me know.
Ive not really mentioned much about Zack just recently because Ive not really been sure about how much to share and what I feel is ok. At the moment we are waiting for an “official” diagnosis, were talking about special schools since Zacks starts school next year. Were going to regular speech and language therapy appointments and we have got some progress in Zacks speech, HE now asks for things using a sentence “I want ….” and is doing well with his PECS in general.
It does feel a little harder to share things with you here seems his diagnosis isn’t official just yet and were still in the middle of this whole process ourselves, I will keep sharing little things about whats happening at a rate that I’m comfortable with.
He is, so so special, and so amazing, our little Zack.
Sometimes the fact that Zack has autism feels overwhelming, he is such an amazing individual but sometimes he finds things very difficult, and I struggle knowing the best ways of helping him. I wish I could be in his shoes for one day so I could fully understand how the world looks from his point of view so that I could support him the best way possible.
We will be working on PECS with Zack, and soon we have another meeting regarding Zack, so hopefully we will get more answers on where we go from here.
The days are flying past and soon life will be returning to normal again. But now I’m going to be at home with three kids instead of two. Its going to be difficult and trying to begin with and I’m feeling a little anxious. But thats the way it is to begin with, soon we will get into a new routine and that will become our everyday normal again. I am so grateful to have had Ryan home for a couple of days, its been wonderful, and Ive been able to rest up properly after the birth,
Yesterday Zack went to his speech and language therapy and tried something for the very first time, and I am so happy about how it went in everyday possible, I am so very proud of him and I´ll explain more about it in a separate post.
Dagarna flyger förbi och snart återgår livet till vanlig vardag igen. Fast inte riktigt som vanligt, nu kommer jag att vara hemma själv med tre barn. Det kommer att vara prövande, och jag känner mig lite orolig. Men så är det i början, snart kommer vi in i en rutin och det blir vardag och som vanligt igen. Jag är så tacksam för att ha haft Ryan hemma i ett par veckor, det har vart underbart, och jag har kunnat vila upp mig ordentligt efter förlossningen.
Igår var Zack hos logopeden och prövade något för första gången, jag är så otroligt glad för hur bra det gick på alla sett och vis, och jag är så himla stolt över honom, jag kommer att berätta lite mer om det i ett eget inlägg sen.
Its very rare that Zack and Jasper play, or even communicate at all. Jasper really wants to, and tries, but mostly with no response. Jasper truly loves Zack, chases after him and tries to do everything Zack does. He calls him when were about to sit down to eat, he always ( okay not always but most of the time ) asks where he is when he can’t see him even if Zacks only been out of sight for two seconds, and in the morning when Jasper wakes up before Zack he comes running as soon as he can hear Zack moving upstairs to tell me that Zacks awake.. Zack really is Jaspers big idol, and it pains me to see how sadly often this makes it hard for Zack. When Jasper comes to play Zack often gets angry or distraught because Jaspers ruining his “order”. Zack gets extremely upset as soon as Jasper starts “stropping” or get upset and makes any crying like noise, and covers his ears, the tears stream down his face and occasionally he lashes out by hitting or kicking Jasper. Sometimes we do get a nice surprise and we get to see Zack spontaneously give Jasper a quick hug , or when they actually play and chase each other around the house whilst laughing, it really warms your heart when it happens. But often its difficult, and theres allot of misunderstandings between them.
Det är väldigt sällan Zack och Jasper leker, eller kommunicerar alls. Jasper vill väldigt gärna, och försöker men för det mesta förgäves. Jasper älskar verkligen Zack, jagar runt efter honom och försöker göra precis allt som han gör. Han ropar på honom när vi ska äta, han frågar alltid var han är ifall han inte kan se honom, även fast han vart i samma rum två sekunder tidigare, och på morgonen när Jasper vaknar innan Zack så kommer han springande till mig såfort han hör att Zack rör sig och berättar för mig att Zack är vaken. Zack är verkligen Jaspers stora idol, och det smärtar mig verkligen att se hur tyvärr det ofta gör det jobbigt för Zack istället för tvärtom. När Jasper kommer och vill leka blir Zack ofta arg för att Jasper förstör hans “ordning”. Zack blir otroligt ledsen såfort Jasper börjar tjura och håller för öronen medans han skriker och tårarna sprutar och ibland försöker han även slå Jasper. Sen ibland så blir vi glatt överraskade när vi ser att Zack spontant kan ge Jasper en snabb kram, eller när dom faktiskt leker och jagar varandra (skrattandes) runt huset, man blir verkligen varm i hjärtat när det händer. Men ofta är det svårt, och det blir mycket missförstånd dom emellan.