Four days of motherhood.

Since I became a mother there’s four different types of days. There’s really good days, normal days, bad days and really FUCKING bad days. On the really good days I start thinking another baby would be a great idea, their so cute and cuddly oh and that new baby smell, maybe just one more and yadayada. Then on the really FUCKING bad days when I’m close to pulling all my hair off, banging my head on a wall and wishing I could hide in a grave just to get some peace and quiet. Another baby? No, NOPE, I’m getting my tubes tied, removed and fucking burning them. Okay so maybe I’m exaggerating a tad, but you get the point – and just in case you don’t, it’s been a BAD day.

Now I’m going to wait for my greasy cheese burger which I will probably regret eating in the morning, but FUCK IT.

End of rant.

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Three small children

Anyone else with little ones who has a minion obsession? All three of ours just love the minions and I feel as if we’ve got the minion and despicable me films stuck on a constant loop.

It’s quite funny to watch as Jamie becomes more and more mobile and likes to get involved in what the other two are doing, especially when Jamie starts getting into Jaspers toys – just like Jasper used to do with Zack. And Jasper starts looking like he might pop a blood vessel.

Zacks quite tolerable with Jamie and goes careful around him most of the time, but with Jasper, not so much. And I swear sometimes I feel like sticking my head in the sand and just letting them fight it out (not that I ever would, or would actually want them too but on some days especially when I’ve not had any coffee in me yet it can sound like a good idea). Thankfully they do have their moments of kinda sort-of getting along 😅

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Wednesday motherhood

You know when you’ve carefully planned out what to do with the few hours of alone time after the kids has gone to sleep, and those few hours goes to actually getting the kids of to sleep instead? Yeah, that’s what happened today.

Well it’s Thursday tomorrow and all I have to say about that is YAAAAAAAS new episode of Riverdale. And hopefully I’ll get those couple of hours of alone time tomorrow, so that, maybe I can at least cross one little thing of the to-do list.

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Speech progress

A couple of days ago Zack said his first long sentence with meaning “I want you too tickle me”, he has picked up soo much in his speech just lately and I am just so incredibly happy for how well he’s doing.

Zack got his official diagnosis Autism Spectrum Disorder in December after a stressful and emotional time getting there. I will be talking about this in my new YouTube Channel that’s coming soon. I’m hoping that sharing our journey might help someone else in the same situation.

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Teething and development

Poor little hiccipops is teething again. None of the other two has ever seemed bothered when their teeth has started coming through but Jamie is. Last night he woke up screaming and nothing would help to calm him down, but now it’s pushed through I think the worst is over until the next one.

I am so amazed by how quickly they develop from little helpless babies to little people. Jamie now cruises around furniture waves bye bye, claps his hands, says mumum and dadad. And it feels like only yesterday he was a little newborn constantly attached to me and now he’s getting all independent.

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Wednesday

Half way through the week already and not a single blog post, damn! I’ve managed to get so organised with so many other things, I’ve even started planning our daily meals throughout the week (hello, I’m feeling pretty grown up here). But, and there’s always a but isn’t there? With our little sleep refuser Jamie who’s just developed some sort of grudge against sleep (I’m not going to sleep your not going to sleep no one is fucking sleeping here). It’s been rather difficult squeezing in blogging in the evening although I’ve wanted too, the little time I’ve had in the evening I’ve had to prioritise a few other things, which are more or less done now so let’s hope I don’t find any other excuses.

I’ve still snapped some pictures which I’ve speed edited, so at least I’ve got something to share. Hmm, maybe I will show you the difference between a speed edit and a looong edit at some point.

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Always be you Jasper.

At bedtime tonight me and Jasper had a little talk like we always do, and I always enjoy them so much because 1. He is hilarious and caring and just great in so many ways (the fact that he can be a little monster we’re just going to ignore for now) and 2. I think due to Zacks autism and the lack of communication from him, it makes me appreciate that I can have a conversation with Jasper, and not take it for granted. Don’t get me wrong Zack communicates in his own little ways but I’ve never been able to actually converse with him but hopefully one day we will get there.

Anyway today Jasper told me to shush and held his hand over my mouth because “baby’s sleeping” (baby wasn’t sleeping, baby was downstairs with daddy.) Then after a while he asked me if Zack was sleeping which he wasn’t so I said no not yet, then he asked me if Jasper would be sleeping soon to which I replied: I think so. Then he asked the same question again and this time I replied: yes. And within 10 seconds he was asleep. It did put a smile on my face my little Jasper he really doesn’t get enough credit, he’s only two and he already notices when Zack doesn’t like something – sometimes before we do. He truly is amazing and Zack couldn’t have asked for a better brother, although they fight like cat and dog at times, when Zack really does get upset his whole face turns into worry “oh no mummy Zack sad, Zack don’t like the noise”. And although I feel bad that he gets in that situation where he’s worried at the age of two I am so proud of him for his compassion and for his love. He’s a big brother and a little brother and he takes care of and loves Zack and Jamie fiercely.

Jasper you are such an amazing human being, never stop being you, you will do great things in life, and you can do anything.

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Fuck it, pizza it is.

So my day has consisted of cleaning up after kids going through different plans and changes (all in my head whilst cleaning 😅). Thinking about eating well and healthy – until I found out the shop ran out of chicken and my planned dinner was ruined. So I ordered pizza in true “fuck it” spirit.

And after I’d put the kids to sleep (which took less then 30 mins, hoooray) I got started on Zacks one page profile. However our little Jamie aka “hiccipops” has some very strong opinions about when it’s time for bed and how it’s unthinkable to go to bed anywhere but in bed with mummy after a certain time, so I’ve had to pause and try and get the rest done tomorrow. So here I am with a happily sleeping baby next to me whom now controls when I go to bed.

My boss, sleeping beauty.

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Since last time

Its been a while, I’ve just put everything aside and focused on here and now trying to sort everything out so Ive got a nice stress free start to 2019. Have I succeeded? No, not really still have things I need to get done and the stress is eating me up from the inside, but for tonight I’m going to enjoy myself and just deal with everything tomorrow.

We had a very calm christmas, the kids all ended up with a stubborn tummy bug and Zack vomited just after opening his first present. Other than that I feel as if the kids enjoyed.

Anyway I just wanted to say Happy new year! And I’m back!

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Birthday coming up

Two out of three kids are having a little nap, Zacks making carrots out of play-doh and I feel as if I’ve not slept in weeks although I’ve not slept too bad, can’t ever win huh?.
I’m starting to think about what birthday presents to get Zack, it can be a little difficult seems his interests aren’t quite like of other kids his age.  There is one thing I keep looking at which Zack absolutely loves to play with when he has been to his speech and language therapy, and Its a wooden boat with little wooden men. I have looked absolutely everywhere online but I cannot seem to find it. If anyone has any idea of where I might find this, please let me know.

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