Saturday and a good week has nearly come to an end. Back to our normal routine again on Monday. And I’m feeling a little sad about it.
There is so many things going on in our life’s right now and if I’m honest I don’t always know what I’m doing or how I’m feeling I’m just running on some kind of autopilot. But I am slowly working my way back to prioritising myself. For such a long time I have been putting myself down and not taking care of or doing anything for me. For such a long time I have just been a mom and nothing else but I am more then just a mother and I am slowly finding those parts of me that makes me, well me.
Jumperdress: H&M Bag: missguided Sunglasses: H&M
I have a love for shoes especially heels, but I’ve been thinking about getting some new trainers for a while now because let’s face it running after three kids whilst wearing heels doesn’t always mix well together and the trainers I’ve got are looking rather meh, bleh and a little manky if I’m honest.
I wasn’t going to buy any shoes today but they were there they had my name on them, they begged me to buy them and I couldn’t say no, and I have never loved a pair of trainers so much.
Say hello to my new loves ❤️
I am up way to late even though I know I’ll be woken up in a few hours, I also know how much I will regret it when Jasper walks in telling me to wake up or asks to “watch mummy’s phone”.
But I got a little bit too into watching the last few episodes of YOU, and yes I know I’m a little late watching it but three kids no time and all of that you know. Anyway, my thoughts? It’s good it certainly keeps you watching, but I didn’t like it because of the horrible feeling and state of mind it’s left me in. I just can’t watch things like this without feeling horrible, it’s the reason why I never watch horrors anymore either, it just leaves me pondering and just makes me feel really bad, sometimes for days. Because once I get something in my head it just does not go anywhere until I’ve finished processing it, although I might not want to process, it’s like once I’ve started I can’t find the stop button and have to keep playing until the end. Extremely annoying and exhausting at times.
So if they do bring out a season two I am promising myself not to watch it even though I am curious, Ryan seemed to get in to it so if he starts watching the second season I might just get him to tell me how it ends.
I think I’m going to have to try and distract my mind with something a little more “happy” to try and go to bed in a better state of mind.
Okay so I rethought the whole weekly update thing, I don’t like it. So there will be no more of that and I’ve also deleted the couple of posts that I did do.
I’m really feeling this week though, we have allot to do and hopefully we will get most of it done. If I’m being realistic it’s probably not all going to get done but we shall try and do it.
We tried my new sunglasses, still very unsure on them. Why is it so damn hard to find a pair that looks good on me? At least they always look good on Jamie.
I haven’t picked my camera up until today and I’ve barely updated any social media the last week.
As much as I enjoy social media – and it’s something I do because I enjoy it. I tend to put to much pressure on myself sometimes taking the fun out of it and making it stressful. And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing recently, so I decided to just take a break for a week and just be. And it’s certainly worked, I feel inspired with photo ideas, blog post ideas and my fingers just want to keep tapping away on my keyboard but I’m going to have to restrain myself a little because I have to be up bright and early tomorrow and if I’m honest I am really tired.
But I will be back tomorrow with a weekly evaluation, and what’s happening this week. I’ll probably end up writing a few more posts that I’ll schedule to be published throughout the week.
Where do I start? Since we started suspecting Zack having ASD, everything has been a roller coaster. It’s a constant mixture of feelings and I try not think too much about the future and focus on here and now and how to best prepare him for well – life.
Zack pretty much mastered PECS straight away it was something he enjoyed doing and therefor did with no problem at all. Our current work in progress is something called colourful semantics where we have hit a slight bump in the road. Zack wants to do things his way on his terms, if it doesn’t happen in his way he gets stressed, upset inattentive and just tries running of with it to do it himself the way he likes it.
So try to get him slowly used to this I need him on his own with no distraction which is easier said then done when he gets distracted by a cup sitting on the side and he has two brothers running around. But we will get there and we will keep working on it.
Sometimes I feel so useless, I haven’t got enough time, not enough hands, not enough energy. I just feel like a failure and that I need to do so much more, I want to do so much more. But I don’t know how I keep working to get there but somehow end up moving backwards.
But I guess all I can do is my best, and strive to always be better and do better.
As I’ve mentioned previously Jasper has started potty training and it’s going great other than one minor little problem.
He does not want to poop on the toilet, he seems to think it’s a little bit scary. I suppose it’s very different for him aswell seems he normally always stands up when he pops. Yesterday I thought we finally had it, he told me there was poop coming (?) and sat on the toilet, mummy there poo coming, poo coming! ( I was like hooooray it’s finally happening) And then he clenched up and wanted a nappy. Tried encouraging him to try again but it was a clear no.
I’m considering making him a little poop chart, where he can put little poop stickers on a toilet to try and make it fun-ish and get him used to the thought of poop in the toilet. But if anyone has any tricks that’s worked on their toddlers, please let me know, I’m grateful for any input!
Hello! Feels like it’s been a while since I posted anything, but I suppose it’s not really been that long. We have been fully enjoying the last few days and the lovely weather.
We ate our first icecreams of the year and just soaked up as much of that sun as we could.
Negatives of today – the vacuum died, and there was no new episode of riverdale.
Positives of today – 16 degrees and it feels like spring! Also I got a new vacuum.
As soon as Ryan got home today we got ready to go and get our new vacuum which I had already reserved online. Honestly a day without being able to vacuum does not work in this house, I vacuum several times a day and not being able to today was just well dirty. However very satisfactory when I unboxed and tried our new one out, you know your getting old when your getting excited by a new vacuum, like really excited but the suctions sooo good.
Time for bed now, I have no expectations for a good nights sleep, it just seems to be one of those weeks.
Did I get to sleep? Nah not really our little one who generally is a very good sleeper decided he was waking up at who knows what time and thought it was the perfect time for bouncing all over the bed. So guess who’s sleeping right now?. Either way I have woke up with some more energy today and I feel pretty good, there’s a new episode of riverdale today ( I hope, if they’ve skipped this week I might swear a little ) and I’ve got the majority of things that need doing done, so thumbs up to that. And I mean it’s Friday tomorrow so that alone just makes today a good day.
I tried making some sort of baking concoction of what I had at home, coincidentally the only thing I really had was baileys and it’s safe to say it was a failure. It didn’t really taste of baileys, just alcohol so yeah thumbs down to that. I’m sure the bin enjoyed it, maybe? I’m Sure it’s better than poopy nappies at least.
Yeah I’ve lost it, thinking weather a bin ?! Enjoys whatever I put in it. Think it might be time for more coffee.